Earlier today, Syriza MP and former government spokesman Gabriel Sakellaridis submitted his resignation, under pressure from PM Alexis Tsipras after he had made it know he would not be voting in favour of the latest bundle of measures going through the Greek Parliament tonight. The development is considered significant as Sakellaridis has been considered a member of Tsipras’s inner circle. The following message was left on Tsipras’s voicemail*.
Don’t worry, I’m gonna go quietly, dignified, like. I’ll make some sh*t up about principles, “irreconcilable differences”, “inability to implement” etc., like we’re gonna keep it civilised for the sake of the kids. Anyone who knows what’s what will know that’s lame… Like, we all knew there was a sh*tstorm brewing when we got behind you in September, but I’ll let you handle the tricky questions, boss.
I think you and me both know what this is about, bro.
You’re hanging out with Fatty all the time, war-gaming with Fatty, letting Fatty pick the drinks order. You know he goes around telling people you’re his b*tch behind your back, don’t you? And when it’s not Fatty, it’s Nikos. Nikos gets the fancy ministry, Nikos gets to ride the chopper, Nikos gets to do the oligarch-bashing. And all the geeks that we used to take the p*ss out of, now they’re you’re best friends. Little Lord Fauntleroy with his crumpled professor’s jackets and his stupid accent. What a loser! At least Yanis had a big bike.
But you know what crossed the line for me? First, you take that uptight bint Olga with you in the jet instead of me. Then you go to the football game, VIP box and all. Then you get to tour the changing rooms. I know it was just Turkey, man, but the f*cking national team?! You know I would have given both my arms! “Who do you play for? Barcelona? My favourite team”. WTF?? Listen to yourself, dude, you sound like some stupid chick trying to fit in with the guys so she can score with the captain. Stick to volleyball man, that’s more your speed.
I never thought it would come to this, bro. You broke up the the Rat Pack, the Revolutionary Reservoir Dogs. For what? Just to fit in… Bottom line, you’re no fun anymore. One of these days you’ll lose a bet and have to wear a tie, and we’ll see who’s laughing then…
Seriously, though. I love you, man, and good luck with it all. You know where to find me when this is all over. We can crack open a beer, order a pizza, watch some “Jackass”, just like the old days, before you sold out.
Adios bro. ¡Hasta la Victoria Siempre!
* Stories, tweets and Facebook posts linked to or reproduced are genuine. Everything in between is a fabrication.
Image adapted from ienimerosi.gr